We have a screen saver that scrolls through pictures of our boys over the past eight years. It has each of them as babies, toddlers and current pictures too. Phil loves to sit and look at it. Me, I can't stand it. Ok, I'm being a little harsh, but though our boys are only 3, 6, and 8, I know those days will never come back and it's difficult for me to look at those pictures without some sadness.
In the process of switching the boys rooms, I had some dirty work to do yesterday. I cleaned out the old changing table (turned dresser) that has gone through each of the boys. With it's broken drawer, it was finally time to be passed along. As I was cleaning it out, I found some funny things that I had saved, purposely, because I can't bare to throw them away. Old medicines, tiny booties, Benjamin's umbilical chord (gross I know, but that thing took 2 months to come off, I wasn't about to throw it away), Micah's first hair cut hair, and clothes that have gone through 3 boys. It's amazing the memories that all those items can conjure up.
So there I sat in the middle of Jacob's bedrooms sobbing over what once was. At times in my life, it is hard to enjoy the now without looking back at the happy past. Yesterday was one of those times and as I sat staring at those treasures, hearing the boys light-saber fighting in the back ground, I longed for simpler times. For one on one time with Jacob, going for daily walks to discover the world for the first time. For little Benjamin sitting in his room staring at our Thomas train set for hours at a time, wide-eyed with wonder. For Micah being snuggled and adored as the newest member of our family.
Life is good now, but it's a little painful for me to look back. I don't know how I'll possibly survive them growing totally up and leaving the house someday. I guess for now, I'll have to learn to enjoy today. (and go get a kleenex, I'm such a baby!)
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5 comments:
I totally know where you are coming from. Our days are so full of running here and there that I rarely slow down enough to really take it all in. I wish I could slow it all down and just savor my cute kiddies!
Same!!
I have to try hard to remember to enjoy the present, and it's way easy to remember the good ole' days!
and i think i may have kept some yucky old umbilical cords myself! we are sick!!! :)
btw... you rock and rule;-)
Jen,
The crying thing is not your fault. Blame mom! I have that too! Love ya!
I know exactly how your feeling these days. Yesterday one turned 18, Wednesday one turns 16. It happens so quickly and everyone tells you, but I didn't believe them. It's true, and somedays I just hate it.
Hold onto those things, I know I have and I, too when I come across them shed a few tears.
I'm totally with you on this one too. I have some gross stuff too. I couldn't bare to throw away the positive pregnancy test I took with Alex. It took so long to get it to say positive that I couldn't bare to throw it away. But you are not alone. I find myself crying about that kind of stuff all the time.
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