On Sunday, Phil asked me to share with the boys what my favorite thing about motherhood is. It was quite an easy question for me to answer at this stage of life: I love watching my boys succeed. Fall was long and hard for us and quite discouraging. No one seemed to be enjoying life and it was work to get anyone to do any of the activities we had signed them up for. Spring has been quite a different story. I love watching Jacob get up to bat or strike someone out - things I didn't think I'd see again. I love watching Micah all over the soccer field and finding ways to score. I love seeing Ben try his hardest at soccer (without complaining - a big deal for us) and enjoying karate. I love the school programs (that make me cry). I love seeing them kind to someone who needs it. I love having them stick up for something that is right. I love seeing Micah ride his bike, or swing, or sing, pretty much anything! I live through my boys! (Phil is included - I could go on and on about his accomplishments, but that is another post!)
However, deep down inside of me, I have a selfish streak. I have a need to feel that same rush and excitement for myself. I have an indulgence that is all mine: running! I love to run. I love completing a hard run and feeling good about something I did for myself. I love training and following a plan. It is something I do on my own time, early in the morning, so I don't mess with anyone else's life and schedule of accomplishments. But I make it happen. So as I finished my last training run this morning for my seventh marathon, the Ogden Marathon, tomorrow I am a bit emotional.
It has been a long training season. It hasn't been easy. I have put in 727 miles over the past 18 weeks. And my silly knee has fought me the entire way! I have looked for some miracle cure. Changed shoes. Changed my stride. Rubs. Orthotics. Knee bands. Treadmill. Not treadmill. Stretching. Icing (as in ice on the knee, not frosting). Foam rollers. Anything but not running. I am stubborn. I went to see a sports medicine doctor in January who gave me several suggestions, then as I was leaving said, "You know if you didn't run, you wouldn't have this problem." Thanks, but no thanks. I'm afraid she was probably right. I will be taking some time off after this marathon to try and figure things out. But for now, I am ready to get this race out of the way and be done!
There are always doubts the final week of training. I will be running the same amount of miles this week (including the marathon) that I ran last week, but wonder how will I ever be able to do this. Luckily I have a sweet husband who was able to give me a blessing this morning to comfort and calm my worries. He blessed me that I will be able to enjoy this time for me and the spiritual experience that these races have become for me. I'm thankful for a Heavenly Father that knows and loves me and maybe, just maybe, enjoys watching one of His daughters succeed too. Here goes!!!!
However, deep down inside of me, I have a selfish streak. I have a need to feel that same rush and excitement for myself. I have an indulgence that is all mine: running! I love to run. I love completing a hard run and feeling good about something I did for myself. I love training and following a plan. It is something I do on my own time, early in the morning, so I don't mess with anyone else's life and schedule of accomplishments. But I make it happen. So as I finished my last training run this morning for my seventh marathon, the Ogden Marathon, tomorrow I am a bit emotional.
It has been a long training season. It hasn't been easy. I have put in 727 miles over the past 18 weeks. And my silly knee has fought me the entire way! I have looked for some miracle cure. Changed shoes. Changed my stride. Rubs. Orthotics. Knee bands. Treadmill. Not treadmill. Stretching. Icing (as in ice on the knee, not frosting). Foam rollers. Anything but not running. I am stubborn. I went to see a sports medicine doctor in January who gave me several suggestions, then as I was leaving said, "You know if you didn't run, you wouldn't have this problem." Thanks, but no thanks. I'm afraid she was probably right. I will be taking some time off after this marathon to try and figure things out. But for now, I am ready to get this race out of the way and be done!
There are always doubts the final week of training. I will be running the same amount of miles this week (including the marathon) that I ran last week, but wonder how will I ever be able to do this. Luckily I have a sweet husband who was able to give me a blessing this morning to comfort and calm my worries. He blessed me that I will be able to enjoy this time for me and the spiritual experience that these races have become for me. I'm thankful for a Heavenly Father that knows and loves me and maybe, just maybe, enjoys watching one of His daughters succeed too. Here goes!!!!
2 comments:
You freaking rock! Good luck!!!! :)
Oh, how I love you, Jennie Stevens! You are amazing and you're going to reach that finish line. I am envious of you and how you run. Seems like I never will be a runner, but I've accomplished other things and I laughed when I saw the early time you leave. I do the same thing, and my boys are old. We mom's need time to shine to and yours my friend is tomorrow. Praying for good weather and a healthy knee. You've got this sister!!!
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