So our middle son, Benjamin, will turn 12 this week. 12! I can hardly believe it. Benjamin is my son who, I hope, will always be a kid at heart. He loves to play. He loves to create. He loves to laugh. He loves when others are happy, especially if he is the one to make them smile. He is sad when they are sad. He is full of innocence. He is quick to give a hug. He can't wait for daddy to come home and runs to him when he does. Until recently he would light up when he saw me at the elementary school. And this kid is about to start Jr. High.
I'm scared. Not because of how hard Jr High is. It will push Benjamin, but he will be up for the challenge. He is a very organized student and I am excited to see him thrive as he puts his all into each class and works hard to do his best. He does quite well under pressure and will continue to be a great student. No, I'm scared, because I'm afraid it will grow Benjamin up. I'm afraid he'll lose his innocence. I'm afraid I won't hear him in the lego room quite as often. I'm afraid he'll turn a little more cynical, and I'll receive fewer of those hugs. And it breaks my heart. I want my Ben to continue to draw comics, pound his songs on the piano and break out in a sword fight at the drop of a hat.
I know it is inevitable and an important part in this game of life. And as hard as it is, I caught a tiny glimpse of that grown up Benjamin today. A friend of ours was leading the Family Choir at Stake Conference. He invited us to join, and of course I was all for it. The only one I could talk into joining me was Ben. If you know Benjamin, you know he has had a nice deep voice for as long as he could talk, so it's always been hard for him to sing those high primary songs. Well, in the family choir, there were parts for kids and parts for adults and parts for harmony and melody. Benjamin did a nice job navigating and singing the part I told him to and when. Well as we finished singing our final song today at conference, I sat next to MY TENOR and bawled. It was inspiring. He was singing the tenor line perfectly, beautifully, while the sweet innocence and humility were still there.
I'm scared. Not because of how hard Jr High is. It will push Benjamin, but he will be up for the challenge. He is a very organized student and I am excited to see him thrive as he puts his all into each class and works hard to do his best. He does quite well under pressure and will continue to be a great student. No, I'm scared, because I'm afraid it will grow Benjamin up. I'm afraid he'll lose his innocence. I'm afraid I won't hear him in the lego room quite as often. I'm afraid he'll turn a little more cynical, and I'll receive fewer of those hugs. And it breaks my heart. I want my Ben to continue to draw comics, pound his songs on the piano and break out in a sword fight at the drop of a hat.
I know it is inevitable and an important part in this game of life. And as hard as it is, I caught a tiny glimpse of that grown up Benjamin today. A friend of ours was leading the Family Choir at Stake Conference. He invited us to join, and of course I was all for it. The only one I could talk into joining me was Ben. If you know Benjamin, you know he has had a nice deep voice for as long as he could talk, so it's always been hard for him to sing those high primary songs. Well, in the family choir, there were parts for kids and parts for adults and parts for harmony and melody. Benjamin did a nice job navigating and singing the part I told him to and when. Well as we finished singing our final song today at conference, I sat next to MY TENOR and bawled. It was inspiring. He was singing the tenor line perfectly, beautifully, while the sweet innocence and humility were still there.
"He is always near me, though I do not see Him there. And because He loves me dearly I am in His watchful care. So I'll be the kind of person that I know I'd like to be if I could see the Savior standing nigh watching over me."
When I was in the hospital 12 years ago, getting ready to have my little baby and trying to decide what to name him, I read about Benjamin in the bible. Benjamin was the youngest of the sons of Jacob
and his name means “Son of my right hand”.
When Moses was blessing the 12 tribes of Israel
I think the Lord does watch over Benjamin. He is pleased with the young man he is becoming. And if he has to grow up, I was happy for that beautiful glimpse today of the righteous, caring, considerate man that he will become...in a long time:) Love you Benjamin.
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